a b o u t

iwillswimtheoceanforyou:

binsbilyas:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to AUS member and she-who-can-breath-underwater…CHESCA :)

Lol. From me and partly from your AUS family.

iwillswimtheoceanforyou:

Thank you so much BINS! Mabuhay ang AUS!! ;)

ang-ex-mong-bittersweet:

Pare, happy happy birthday! Sana tumayo ka na lang sa table at sumayaw ng dougie! Salamat sa treat! Nyahaha I love you pare! :)

Being in love with Brian Puspos.

“Brian makes my Puspos wet.” - comment from a youtube viewer of Brian’s video “Wet the Bed”

Magsolo ka sa Earth!

“Magsolo ka sa earth!”, ang karaniwang kutya ng klasmeyts ko nung elementary sa taong di nila maintindihan ang pinagsasasabi. Tipong whatever! namin nung mga araw. Iniisip ko na totoo ito. Solo ka lang talaga sa Earth.

Nung Highschool ako may mga times na nagdi-dinner akong solo sa centro ng Naga. Minsan late nang matapos ang cheering squad, tapos na rin kumain ng dinner ang mga kasama ko sa dorm kaya no choice solo akong magpapa-centro at kumain ng dinner. Hindi ko naramdaman na malungkot magsolo pa-minsan na-eenjoy ko rin naman kasi nasusunod ang gusto kong gawin o puntahan. Pag may kasama kasi ako di ko iniisip ang gusto ko, parating yung gusto ng kasama ko. Ewan ko ba kung bakit. So instead nga na ma-feel ko ang lungkot o saya na mag-isa ako, na-feel kong ang daming nakatingin na mata sakin. Parang na-weweirdan sila. Nagtataka kung bakit solo ako. Ganyan rin yung tingin na binigay sakin ng mga tao nung pumunta kong Vigan. Andaming nagtanong kung ba’t solo lang ako. Ang pinagtataka ko sa mga tao eh kung bakit weird ang tingin nila sa mga taong solo. Anong masama na solo ka lang?

Buong highschool at college life ko, di ako bumisita sa comfort room na naghahanap ng kasamang babae. Na-observe ko kasi, kailangan duo, trio or by group kayong mga babae para lang pumuntang comfort room. Syempre may times rin na may kasama ko pero yung maghahanap ka ng kasama para lang umihi kayong dalawa? Anong meron dun? Magtatanggalan ba kayo ng panty at kailangan mo pa talaga ng kasama? Di ko ma-gets ang mga babae pagdating diyan. Again, anong masamang magsolo ka lang?

Para sakin ang pagsolo ang isa sa mga pinaka-natural na mangyayari sa tao. Solo ka rin namang lumabas sa sinapupunan ng nanay mo, eh kahit kambal di naman kayo sabay lumabas ng kakambal mo. Solo ka rin namang mabubuhay at mamamatay. Ikaw ang gagawa ng tadhana mo. Ikaw ang magtatrabaho para maabot ang mga pangarap mo. Ikaw ang responsibilidad sa lahat ng ginagawa mo, mapa-tama man o mali. Ikaw ang maninindigan sa prinsipyo’t paniniwala mo.

Di ko sinasabing di mo kailangan ng ibang tao at di ka kailangan ng ibang tao. Kailangan mo sila para mag-grow ka as a person. Magtulungan kayo.

Ang point ko lang naman sa mga tao, wag kayong masyadong ma-weirdan sa mga taong solo. Malay mo nagmumuni-muni lang naman siya, nag-eenjoy dahil sa wakas nagawa niya ng gusto niya o kaya wala lang siyang kasama mag-dinner. Kung curious ka lapitan at tanungin mo na lang siya.

Sa mga taong takot mag-solo, wag kang malungkot. Dapat masanay ka na na solo ka. Akalain mo na solo ka lang sa Earth, pwedeng-pwede mong gawin lahat ng gusto mo ng walang iniisip na ibang tao. Ang sarap isipin noh? Pero alam mo ba na sa pagsolo mo matututunan mo ang salitang responsibilidad? :)

Sa wakas dinalaw na rin ako ng antok.

Wag mong kakalimutang gumawa ng tula about sa Perfect Selfishness. :)

Applayan

INTRO 2 MY NEW DIARY IN PC

HALER 2 OL D PEOPLE OUT DER!!!ur actually reading my very own homepage!
well, f u rili want 2 read ds homepage..GO ON!something pops on my head..(ting!) what if i build a homepage in my PC..but it functions as a diary…EVERY WEEK!
YES!!finally!!I can costumize and personalize my own BLOG!(oh my God! A BLOG!!) so if you’re really interested about me(bka my HD kyo skin…mwehehehe..),you can read..
i hope that I (nd u,reader)ay may kapupulutang aral saking mga sulatin..(buwan ng wika po tyo..)
So enjoy reading!!and I hope you lyk it..!
My own blog turns out 2 be ds…huhuhu…why did it turn 2 be ds??
anyways….keep on reading and i hope you’ll lyk it..

M.U. THING..

Yup! You read it right! And that’s the system in our school.
girls court girls with roses, chocolates, mushy poems, Teachers, Administrators, Faculties are doing a job to get rid of it. There are counseling, disciplining, seminars, guidance, orientation for this thing.
But nope… they aren’t working. So they just wait. Wait for the right time they get the girls with this kind of relationship with other GIRLS.

DEB8 b 2??

Others are anti-, others are pro- and others are neutral.
MU is defined as a friendship with commitment by our school’s 1st vice-president.
ok. There are reasons why others don’t like it. And for others, it’s ok.
Many reasons. if you want to know…
ask them. interview them. one by one.

first impressions are OFTEN wrong..

I emphasized the word I’ve used seconds later, OFTEN. When I first saw the music video entitled ‘Broken Sonnet’, I always thought the band’s vocalist,
Champ (person I’m dying to meet), was ‘pa-cute’ coz there’s this closing-his-eyes-so-deeply-moved-by-their-song…
And now I’m taking my free time to memorize their songs before the street party on September 14…!!!
Another one, was way back when I was in 1st year hs.
MYMP’s ‘A Little Bit’ is selling like hotcakes but God I don’t care! I don’t like their song either!
But now…I’m gonna watch their concert on Saturday!!!
Yeah…First impressions are often wrong…
First impression coz when I was new in my school back when I was in Freshmen year,
back when I was an innocent lil’ kid, I’m an anti-. Of course I was an anti. Girls are for Boys
and vice-versa. That’s the thing that is in my head—consciously or subconsciously. Nothing will change it.
Who wouldn’t keep that in their head when their environment is mixed with the opposite sex?
When I’ve heard about the system, I get annoyed to the people who totally lost their minds and dove in it.
I get yucky-yucky all over my body like I’m afraid to be infected by the disease.
And I think I haven’t been very careful.
The disease is contagious.
I did a research. But the more I research, the more the disease is spreading.
It is a matter of time that I began to notice that I’ve become a neutral.
I thought it was the end of the process.
I hadn’t noticed that it is secretly spreading in my body systems.
And last year, I was infected BIG-TIME…!

Things I’ll never Say…

It sucked me big-time!
I was (how-can-I-describe-it???)
Words can be selected: “infatuated”, obsessed or “in-love”…
All I could remember was I did these poems for her..
The poems are CORNY (I must admit it..) and can really catch attention.
And all of my classmates are rampaging about what I’ve done and then they recognized my talent in writing poems.
There’s still advantage in what I’ve done. Especially an inprovement in my extra-curricular activities.
They made me join this contest Paggawa ng tula last August (Buwan ng Wika).
I started doodling in my notebook. I continued writing mushy poems for her and it’s all about her.
I bought roses for her and I place it on her chair early in the morning.
shocked??? You should be.
(I’m totally freaking out right now and I think some spirit possessed me at that time…)
I would wake up at dawn so that I can go to the classroom and peacefully place the roses on her chair.
I remember giving her a cuddly teddy bear (that I’ve got second thoughts to give it to her or just keep it for myself..) And I have also remembered giving her chocolates and she just gave it to her seatm8s but brought some on her way home. On November 25, We walked home together. Nope…not exactly home coz I am going to buy something in centro.
And I just gave her a walk to her ‘ride’…..
I don’t really know… and I don’t really know……and I don’t really know now.. how it started and how I get along with it.
All I could think of is touching her smooth hand, touching her warm face and hug her tight and say…
“do you know I’m existing in this world??….for you….?”
I want to say it to her. But I can’t. I don’t want to be rejected by my friends and coz it’s the rule…
Until she was taken.

Followers

The RULE is simple… “It is forbidden to have a ‘mutual understanding’ with the same sex”.
It is the rule made by our School, by parents and by God…
They own the disciple and apostle title, “followers”. They don’t like the system. They don’t like girls
smooching, hugging and kissing in the corridors. They’re shocked and don’t want to listen to news about two girls
who locked themselves in a classroom or in the comfort room during barn dance.
They freak out when they heard their friend is applying to some gurl.
Felt like a job, right??
That’s the term used when lesbians court other lesbians.
Like me, They used colorful roses and mushy poems as their visual aid or their props.
Anyways, back to our main topic.
They are the Followers of the rule. you want reasons huh?
Maybe they don’t just have MU’s….joke! Just kidding guys! No offense…Let me do that again..
Maybe they just don’t like it. They are too busy studying (that’s right! Follow them!).
Or maybe they are CONTENTED to be like themselves. They don’t need mushy poems, delicious chocolates, good guitarist (with
extra singer or a dancer), bunch of roses and other visual aids.
Maybe they have this ‘thing’ for a girl but don’t want to be rejected by their friends.
Maybe they’re just scared to break the rule….following the rule by their parents, by our school and by God.
Maybe they just don’t feel like it…They believe that guys ar for them and vice-versa.
They like solving equations, researching about the parts of the digestive system and other educational stuff….
They are free… And they are blessed…

Breakers

I call them “the Breakers”.
Parents tell you, “anak, study hard and don’t have a boyfriend. Take care of your studies muna so you can have a work in the future and after that you can take care of your love life…” boyfriend huh? how about girlfriend?? freaky? it makes my hairs in my spine stand. They break the rule… And they have so many reasons.
One of them (according to my research) is the so-called LOVE… yeah right..
According to my researches,Gals in my school fell to be a Breaker because they are not contented.
As I say, They are not contented. For example, a gal whose parents are divorced.
Another one is peer-pressure. I know coz I know someone who dove in it because of the persuasion of her friends.
Others just want to be “IN”. To be popular (sori po sa mga na-offend)…
Parents soon discovers by suspecting gifts their daughters brought home and they ground their children by
decreasing their allowance and other stuff…; Administrators will suspend you for days,weeks and months until
you’re outta school! Your grades are gonna be low as burning hell. Your conduct will descend. Your honesty.
And you have disobeyed God…..
I don’t want to type any longer..
So many reasons…
So many questions…
So many conclusions, opinions, etc…
All I know is that their ‘relationship’ doesn’t last for so long.
They thought it will. But they’re dead wrong, totally…!
Aren’t they???

between the line..

The Neutrals!!
Wanna know why they’re neutrals??
Because their friend(s) are in that kind of realationship!
Because they have understood the system. They are used in the environment around them.
I’ve remembered the way I used to flinch whenever I heard the story about the 2 girls locked themselves in the classroom
or in the CR. It’s just freaking yuckydy-yuckydy-doo…
But now, it’s okay for me. I don’t really care about them unless they are one of my dearest friends (LORD PLEASE DON’T!)
Remember me when I tell you that I’ve grown up in a mixed environment??? (yes.. the one back when I was in elementary..
boys and girls are meant to be..). I’ve got a lot of friends who are boys. In short words, my boyfriends.
I always talk to them with no sweat. Talk about stuff in animes. And I really miss them so much since Freshmen year.
But now, I’m not really used to them whenever they’re around me. Talking to them is like a torture for me.
I am a cheerful kid (that’s why I’m in cheering squad..) but whenever we have reunions, my tongue is glued in my mouth.
really… But I’m making an effort for it.
Back to the main topic!!!
Neutrals coz they have opinions. On either side. I know breakers and Followers have opinions too.
But this is different from them. Maybe they are neutrals coz they HAD experienced the system. And they thought that there is nothing wrong, so it is okay.
They are like the SPECIMENS whether you should be like a follower or a breaker.
They are the ones who match you and that gal. They help you if they favor you, they don’t help you if they aren’t in favor.
YES it is okay coz there is nothing wrong. “Besides it’s just friendship with commitment.” or “Friendship in a medium level.”
They say…
Others thought it as Love. “You’re in-love!! I’m so kilig!! This poem you’ve made is just plain corny!”, They say.
But if you had gone beyond the limitations (doing the freakiest thing in public or not-in-public).
They will tell you,”STOP!!TOO MUCH NOW..YOU’RE GOING BEYOND”.
WHAT GOOD NEUTRALS!!!

KAYE’S UNLUCKY DAY..(Agos2dose2005)

ds day s a dreadful day 2 Kaye,my classm8…She is having a “thing” (according 2 her) 4 ds GIRL..
(wha?!she..&..she??!insane!)-yeah,i know that will be ur reaction.
u wud think that Kaye’s a lesbian or d GIRL s d lesbian.i don’t really know either wat’s d truth about them..
u wanna know wat’s d name of ds GIRL Kaye’s fallen 4?she s no other dan(drum’s beating..bands banding..gud intro)
hehehe..sori 2 kip u hanging in d air lyk that.I wil just kip d person’s name 4 personal reasons.hehehehe.. You know… I’ve helped Kaye making uhmmm… a visual aid(s) or props.
I suggested the song that will be written in her long, red cartolina that will be the visual aid.
And I’m really happy coz the song is my favorite. It is Gemini by Sponge Cola (I’ve watched TOP 20 ds am and it’s now on #2 spot!)
The plan is sooooo good. the venue where Kaye will reveal her ‘love’ to her is at the rooftop of our school.
Everything is well-planned. Morning, I told her there will be a tournament in volleyball and badminton at the rooftop.
I asked her to come and she said yes. Kaye bought 3 roses and worked on her other visual aids.
Everything was going okay until there had been a problem. Our 2 accomplices unsuccessfully persuade her to come at the rooftop.
Kaye waited. And we waited. Until Kaye gave up…She cried…Our 2 accomplices cried. (actually there are many accomplices but they
hadn’t cried). Yes…you might say “sayang yung effort…wawa man si Kaye..” or “yan kya!wla ka nman mpapala sa knya…”.
But friends, understand her. She is a human being. She also admires, loves, got hurt…..
At least she have tried what she wanted to do for her to be hers.
If she hadn’t done what she wanted to do, she will live her life feeling regret and asking questions to herself,”what if..?
or if only….”. It’s not good. really. to be like that. You’re gonna stare afar with your mouth open and your eyes getting white.
Besides, It’s not a good attraction…
I helped her with my dearest friends.
We helped her with our utmost effort.
They understand her.
I understand her.
And she almost took my breath away from me…..

a summer to remember

i came to see her… she doesn’t look a lot like you…

starting off…

haha! 
so here i am once again… 
typing another nonsense that came to my mind these past few days.. 
writing about myself and lessons i’ve learned this summer, so far. 
i won’t say that aside from the daydreaming of doing this…. blog, i was dreaming of becoming a novelist someday.. 
problem is… i don’t have the skills in grammar… 
they say a good writer means a good speaker… in english of course. 
well… there’s a problem with that too.. 
i don’t talk. 
especially in english. 
well, i mean… unless it is an english song, you know. 
music’s part of my life. 
so this summer, i planned to improve my grammar skills. 
and i was expecting my cousins from US would help me. 
yeah, yeah… 
they’ve helped my grammar skills. 
and they’ve helped my nerves to EXPLODE!!!!! 
i mean… who would not?! 
with the help of their attitudes, they turned me to a minor freak!!!!

(gOosEfAbaH)…starting off part2

ok.. 
(i got soooo into it that i’ve forgot to ease my mind a little…) 
i’m sorry i haven’t introduced myself. 
i’m eloisa. others call me loi. or yoyie. 
i’m wasting my time here in this unfamous, little town of Nabua here in Bicol. 
(Nabuenos gonna be so proud of me i’ve mentioned our town in my book! hehe.. if ever this gets published…ok! enough daydreaming!) 
at least that’s what i thought about days ago… and then i reflect. 
yeah… 
i’ve done my part this summer…. selfishly.

whatever!

i was sOo excited of summer this year… 
not because my parents are not gonna be here 
(but partly, yes that’s my reason) 
but because i’m just gonna lie on the couch with my remote in my right hand 
chips on my left, tv on my front and to top it all, a snuggy pillow to… uhmm.. snug on to. 
yup! 
that’s my plan…! 
that went well on my first few weeks of summer. 
and i was overjoyed! 
until… karma!!! 
my fone jumped to the floor and broke itself 
(i promise i didn’t touch it!) 
worse… it broke itself in the middle of an important txtchanging with my friend…! 
i think my fone sensed that i was feeling excited about something that day. 
it was so shocked that it totally flew to the floor. 
and after that i was sOo doomed!!! 
i mean… who would not feel doomed when your friend is about to tell you something about your… 
crush for a very llllllllllllooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg ttttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeee……. 
(yah… that long) 
so i got disappointed and mad at that big, red fone of mine. 
how could that thing do that to me???!!! 
wAaAhHh!!!! 
got so depressed that i always thought about on how to fix that hideous thing!!! 
did i mention earlier that i have only 5 things to do that first few era of mine?? 
eat, sleep, watch tv, lie on couch, text… 
yeah.. that’s it… 
pretty lame but i enjoyed it. 
i wouldn’t have called it my era if i didn’t, did i? 
the very next day, i gave my yaya P500 to look for someone who can fix my stupid fone. 
she came back with my stupid fone not mended. 
i became so miserable about it! 
God must thought of giving of what i call ‘a catch’. 
He must’ve seen me enjoying all the gluttony i was taking in at that time. 
i have nothing to do about it. 
so i usually do this ‘ridewdit’… 

I don’t have mercy to my thumbs… 
So i engaged myself to tv instead to forget about the stupid fone. 
and i really enjoyed every bit of the episodes of my all-time fave animes! 
wahahahaha!!!! 
of course, God managed to see me once again, enjoying the gluttony. 
so He did His ‘catch’ 
the catch this time is our cable. 
i mean… picture yourself lying on the couch and enjoying your fave tv program 
then suddenly, the cable went OFF! 
what would you feel?? 
i mean except for sleepy… if you know what I mean. 
you would feel the same way as i did! 
(come on guys-with-other-answers, get along with me) 
i got sooo pissed off! 
so until today, the cable man operating the system don’t bother to ask what’s the problem or who the hell is calling… 
they already knew the answers…. 
how could they not memorize those lines that they hear on the fone every single day?? 
“hello?? good morning/evening/afternoon po… tano po oda animax?? ki marcelo po adi sa div. road, nabua…” 
that goes on forever… until last monday 
they totally removed the channel… And it’s for 2 weeks. 
after school starts… 
=’c

ANIMEXON!!!

ever since i was a kid (grade 1 or 2) 
i watched anime. 
it has been a good habit that became hard to break. 
haha! 
that’s one of the reasons why others think of me as a kid. 
yeah… i’m a kid. 
hehe… 

LEGEND: 
fin = tpos na… =C 
# = ABSCBN 
% = QTV 
* = animax 
^ = GMA 

i enjoy these animes (w/ their time): 
Mirmo = 9:00 am (moved to 8:30 am with an unknown reason) # 
Cheeky Angel = 9:30 am (moved to 10:00 am with an unknown reason) = fin% 
DN Angel = 10:00 am (moved to 10:30 am with an unknown reason)% 
Cardcaptor Sakura = 4:00 pm (repeated 8:30 pm the same day and 8:30 am the nxt day) = fin* 
Ultra Maniac = 4:30 pm (repeated 10:00 pm the same day and 9:00 am the nxt day) = fin* 
Flame of Recca = 5:00 pm (repeated 9:30 pm the same day and 10:00 the nxt day) =fin* 
Gensomaden Saiyuki = 5:00 pm ^ 
Gokusen = 6:00 pm ^ 
Fushigi Yuugi = 6:00 pm (repeated 9:00 pm the same day and 12 midnyt the nxt day, full coverage on sunday at 6:00 pm) =fin* 
FullMetal Alchemist = 6:00 pm (repeated lyk fushigi)* 
Detective Conan = 6:30 pm (repeated 12:30 am the nxt day, full coverage on sundays at 2:00 pm)* 
Alice Academy = 7:00 pm on mondays (repeated on 2:00 pm and 8:00 pm of saturdays; 12:00 pm of sundays)* 
Chronicle of the Wings = 7:00 pm on thursdays (repeated on 12:00 pm of saturdays and 9:00 am of sundays)* 

new anime I watched 3 hours ago: 
God(?) Save Our King! = 7:00 pm every tuesday 

so yeah… 
got sooo into it that i would do anything just to watch every episode of every anime i’ve mentioned above… 
even if it costs having red ears to call the cable operators to bring back animax asap…! 
hehe… 
im patient to all the things i want… 
=) 
call me selfish, people!!! 
wAhAhAhA!!!

bLah, bLah and bLah!

bLah, bLah and Blah!!! comments from my cousins (father’s side) made it through our door 
and yelled at me really hard! 
what can i do?? 
i don’t want to go out… 
that’s my only reason why i don’t want to go out of my house.. 
Let me repeat that again… 
I DON’T WANT TO GO OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! 
why??! 
because simply, i don’t want to! 
got it memorized??! 

so… 
instead of me being out there… 
my cousins went here… for me… 
how sweet of them, i thought. 

we watched animes together. 
but i got pissed off when they kept on talking and asking questions they don’t understand 
the scenes on the anime we’ve been watching. 
while they ask and i answer, another scene would be showed and i don’t have the chance to watch it. 
i don’t want to leave my cousins’ mouths hanging open, facing at me and waiting for my answer. 
you see… i know the feeling being left out. 
but honestly, i would pretend that i haven’t heard what they’ve asked or simply, i ignore them. 
so in the end… 
i forced myself to watch the animes all over again. 
that’s why i know all of the repeated anime time, as you noticed above… 
hehe… 
but despite all of the annoyance i’m sucking in because of my cousins, i’m happy they were there. 
with me… 
=D 
i think that’s the reason why i missed them when my aunt came here from US.

new stupid gadgets!!?

got my new fone last december. 
but it was like… not my type… 
i’d still prefer nokia than that one.. 
but i like it. 
it’s like my i-pod…! 
i mean, it really looks like my i-pod! 
except for the thing that you can’t use it because it doesn’t work!!! 
my i-pod, yes… songs that are so lame. (no offense kuya nono) 
just like my i-pod, i can’t download songs to the new and stupid fone of mine… (no offense mom) 
uhmm… so i gave up and called all of the ‘gadgets’ (new hi-tech materials from US) that mom 
brought or gave to me—— stupid…!

new good gadgets??!

yei! 
hehe… 
at last! 
remember my problem with my big, red, unmended fone which jumped itself to the floor? 
(i promise i didn’t touch it!) 
my thumbs rested for a week because of that. 
and at those days, when my mom called, i asked her to buy me a fone. 
“mami… pwede mo kong baklon sa bagong cell phone??”, i asked shyly? 
i knew right away what she would answer back. 
“agko baga ka RokR?!”, she protested. 
and to top it all, my dad was there… 
he doesn’t want to waste money for a new fone! 
hehe… 
(i’ve found out that he’s just like that because mom holds the money they earn) 
so yeah… he protested. 
i gave up, of course. There’s no point in arguing just because of a new stupid gadget. 
so i planned that i would ask my mom about her ‘utang’ which is 600 dollars. 
I told my plan to my yaya and she refused about it. 
I know mom is no fool. 
not now that i’ve asked her about the new fone. 
she would knew right away what i would do to the money. 

a few days later… 
yaya and i went to Naga to uhmm… to do-something-i-forgot. 
so i got the chance to go to Dr. Mobile and mended it. 
and after 2 days.. 
The big, red, stupid fone of mine was mended! 
yeah!!! 
but all the files in my phone mem were all erased! 
I got sooo pissed off to that! 
but i looked at the bright side… 
(hallelujahhhhhhhhh…….!!!!) 
yin and yang, i thought to myself.

mom’s 3ked! wAhAhA!!

yeah!!! 
you read it right! 
mom was tricked by me! 
I tricked mom! 
she was like, i mean… 
she got all mercy on me and bought me new fone! 
i wouldn’t call it stupid, silly! 
because it’s not stupid at all! 
i can’t find any words how to criticize it. 
my uncle, whose like, “wow! N90! give me your 3650 now!” 
and i’m like, “Nuh-uh…! I’m not giving away the big, red, stupid fone!” 
But sad to say, i’m not using it anymore… 
my yaya’s using it. 
(i’m sorry 3650…) 

when my mom broke to me the news of about me having the N90… 
I don’t know how I felt. 
I felt like half of me saying, “wow! N90! 2 fones to me! score!” 
and the other half saying, “….(silence)….aAhhH….oOoOOkkkK…” 
I don’t know why… 
But part of me is like, I don’t feel like it. 
moving on, my mom told me that I shouldn’t tell my dad about her buying me that one. 
My dad’s like sOoO resourceful… don’t you think? 
If dad asked me, I would say, “yeah…! i know! mama susan is sooo cool buying me that one!” 
with a very convincing voice, i tell you. 
I hadn’t told my mom about the big, red, stupid fone of mine that it was actually mended. 
but…. well… i didn’t say about that. 
I guess I missed telling her… 
hehe… believe me… 
ok! ok! my conscience! 
I want to have the N90!!! 
that’s the reason I hadn’t told her that…! 
But she discovered the truth. 
And I don’t bother… 
She said it’s ok. 
=D 

what the best MOM I have! 
Love you Mom! (you too dad)

pares, pares, doble taya!

when i was in elementary, i always compare Sharon Cuneta to my aunt. 
I would look up at her and say, “you look a lot like Sharon Cuneta!” 
and she would say, “oowwwZZ?? talaga??” with her puzzled face. 
Until now, that’s what I think. 
This aunt of mine whom I call ‘mama ky’ in my earlier years 
(and whom I call ‘mama pinky’ now in my early years) 
is married to my uncle whom I call ‘papa melvs’… 
this pair is one of the best people i’ve met! 
and i owe them big-time! 
They are always offering help to me. 
and i’m happy about that. 
all are so fine until summer comes… 
and this problem is like, centuries unsolved!!! 

it goes on like this… 
whenever my mama ky arrives here in Phil, papa melvs would act… strange. 
I mean except for the weird and funny jokes he fires at us but that would seem normal to him. 
strange…strange! 
That’s what i mean…! 
He is like KJ every summer! 
(why do husbands have the attitude of being a resourceful man!?) 
I admit that in my earlier years… 
summer is the best part of my life! 
I can’t wait to feel the heat! 
yeah! 
relatives from US would come by and share the fun they’ve sucked in there. 
(they share their hard times also…if you know what i mean) 
so yeah… being a kid, i always go tell my aunt to let’s-have-some-fun-stuff! 
we go here and there… fajardo here, fajardo there, fajardo here, fajardo there and fajardo here and fajardo there… 
(repeat that for a hundred) 
we go to Naga… Legaspi… no… not a every single day (i still have my conscience, you know) 
buy stuff here and there…. important or unimportant… cheap or expensive… 
Just get it from the shelf and go tell mama ky…! 
(i remember those good days… *sigh*) 
so yeah! it’s one of those good ‘ol days… 
if you’re thinking that i am a hypocrite, not being timid and all that stuff. 
i would say no… i mean i’m really shy… me having those things. 
sometimes, i feel i don’t deserve it. 
but hey! 
who could not refuse all the blessings that is right in front of you?? 
i mean… these things only come once a period of your year, you know what i mean?? 
just like the blessing that my aunt (and my parents and my other relatives) was here…. by my side. 
giving all the things i want and need. 

so yeah… 
gluttony again. 
the reason why my aunt comes here every summer is because of her husband. 
She would not come here if it wasn’t for him. 
of course, she would still come here because of me and my cousins, right? 

moving on, after all the stuff we bought. 
you should expect that my aunt and uncle would argue about something. 
you get it right…. money. 
my uncle said to us, “pag oda na yan sintabo, migsabi na yan sa ‘gom! sari na su calculator?!’” 
at that same moment, my conscience came and whispered to me, “you know what he means…you know what he means…” 
(repeat that for…. infinity!) 
so from that day on, i became a…. loner. (i think i’m a loner, really) 

You see, whenever we go out to have some fun, and my uncle doesn’t like the idea, you would actually caught him 
he’s feeling that through his face. 
(he’s not a good keeper to himself) 
his face would be sagging towards the floor because of disappoinment and everything that’s happening. 
and i think he’s trying to hide the uneasiness and at the same time, trying to burst it all out so that everyone can see 
what’s he’s feeling. 
you know what i mean? 
he’s happy when his plans turn out to what expects it to be. 
again, you can see it in his face. 
but all of his plans bends to one side whenever my plans (and other circumstances) would be on their way. 
my aunt would follow my plan and of course, my uncle would follow his wife… and tAdAh!!! 
*sigh* 
ok… enough of this..! 
this goes on for 7 years and below… i think. 
but this summer is so bad, i instantly broke the record! 
whahahaha!!!! 

i told the attitude of my uncle to his wife and i forgot what she replied to me. 
i think she’s aware of it also but don’t want to do something about it. 
And i thank God that my cousins noticed the attitude-changing of my uncle every summer…! 
(i’m not alone in this world…) 
Like me, they hate it. 
my cousin told me, “di man arog kan si papa melvs pag bukong summer…” 
i decided to think about a theory that would explain all this strange phenomenon. 
and what i’ve came up was that an alien from a planet spends its vacation here. 
it abducts my uncle’s mind and *poof*! 
he’s out of control…! 
yeah… that would be it. 
But of course, that would be my answer if you ask me scientifically. 
In reality, my aunt would have something to do about it. 
my detective senses tell me it’s because of the time of his wife here and about…. 
yeah…. you got it right again… 
the money. 

hey! 
what can i do about it? 
There’s nothing i can do about it…! 
but though, i would like to help him about it if he wanted me to. 

i’m… all… alone…

because of the unsolved situation i’ve stated above, i prefer to be alone… 
just like old times. 
and i’m contented about it. 
i told my mama susan to buy me PS2 and she (gladly?) granted my wish. 
With all the playstation and cable (thanks to lola toning and lolo joe) thing, i can live inside my room forever! 
but i know you know that’s impossible. 
I am in my room the whole day! 
(i still don’t want to go outside the house…beh…) 
As you can see, my territory became more private than ever! 
No one can make me go downstairs (except for the foods and my aunt) 
Why, you ask?? 
One of my reasons is that it’s because of my lolo joe… 
lolo joe is an american. He married my lola toning who is the aunt of my mom and aunt. 
i won’t say that i don’t like him. 
as you might remember, i don’t talk english. 
i hate myself whenever i caught my voice making noises which i take in as a sentence in english. 

at those times, i prefer being alone. 
with tv on my front… (still living up to my plan…!) 
life feels so good at that time! 
with the cold air from the AC, I would strum my guitar and sing ‘your song’ 
I’d wait for the animes I enjoyed watching while I would chomp the chips and drink coke. 
No… 
I don’t have net back in those days yet. 
But in the meantime, I enjoy playing PS2, KH2… 
We didn’t go to Naga nor Legaspi. 
Because I’m always in my room. 
I didn’t bug my aunt to bring us to Naga, 
I didn’t pissed off my uncle for Legaspi. 
yeah…yeah… and it feels so G-O-O-D!!! 
i tell you… there’s no more B-O-R-I-N-G than this! 
what F-U-N! 

I didn’t ask anything to my aunt this summer. 
ok… 
I admit I didn’t like the things that turned out. 
But this actions of mine hindered the situation my uncle said. 
My aunt didn’t end up using the calculator. 
=D 
So I think I’m happy about it. 
This went on… and it spells B-O-R-I-N-G all over my face. 
Then my cousin, Kris, came here…

dislikes of mine…

I didn’t go with my aunt to fetch kris and her mom, whom i call mama nancy, to the airport that morning. 
honestly, I pretended to be asleep when I woke up early that morning. 
(I still prefer not to go outside the house) 
The other reason was that I want to watch anime that morning. 
(really selfish, huh?) 
When I was watching Mirmo, I heard someone’s voice outside my room. 
Really… I was shocked to see my two cousins open the door and came to see my mouth on the floor. 
Kris was like… 4’ 11”… (I noticed the height, of course… I’m a bit conscious of my height) 
“This is Ate Loi’s room…”, Macy said to her while she looked at me. 
And I said, “Oh! Kris!” 
Then my mama nancy came to my room with mama ky. 
“Kumusta si biyahe?”, I asked. 
“maray man…”, mama nancy answered while she looked around my room. 
My room’s totally a mess! 
Especially summer… if you know what I mean. 
Well… They came to fetch me. 
They said we’ll go to Naga… 
I want to refuse the offer though. 
I don’t want to go with them. 
You see… I don’t like mama nancy nor Kris… 
(no offense to people who like them but it’s true) 
They are like… people who needs a major attitude transformation. 
people who breaks to a major freak out and cause people to freak out even more! 
I tried to be left out but not do it instead. 
How could I not say no to them? 
I mean… how?? But I think I knew the answer all along… 
I’m just afraid to admit it. 
It’s because of my mama nancy. 
Her mouth won’t shut in criticism. 
She points out the good, the bad, and the ugly in you. 
So I became conscious and yeah… 
I knew this would happen and I am prepared for it. 
I don’t care what she and her daughter says. 
As long as I’m here… alive and enjoying all the heat from the sun! 
hehehe… really bad, isn’t it? 

…..’ridewdit’ 

so yeah… I enjoyed our trip to Naga. 
Me with my cousins. 
When we finished eating our lunch, they took me to be their tour guide. 
(Now I think that’s the reason why they came to fetch me) 
We made a pose in front of a camera at swayne’s foto arts center. 
and I feel so comfortable with them…! 
Too bad my other cousin, Macy’s sis, Datchie, wasn’t there. 
After a long day, my tongue’s twisted because of all the english talking.

in the red corner… eloisa!

Every night, we went to Macy’s house. 
I don’t know why but mama ky always bring me along with papa melvs. 
This happens every night and I’m getting tired of it. 

According to my ‘anime-tv-marathon-sched’, I should go home as early as 9-10 pm. 
Why?? 
So that I could watch Fushigi Yuugi, FOR and Ultra Maniac at the right place and the right time! 
I thank animax they tend to repeat a certain anime for 4 times a week! 
And I ‘m happy that God was imitating my ‘ridewdit’ style… 
hehehe… 
But some things don’t exactly happen the way you expect them to turn out… 
(yeah… reminds me of my uncle) 

One night, I’m struggling to keep track of my schemes… err.. plans… 
so yeah… I did ask something to mama ky this time… 
“pwede mag-galin na kita?”, I asked. 
she replied, “ulat nguna ta si papa melvs mo… blah, blah…” 
And I told myself, “yeah… ok… I can wait…” 
I tell you, I’m patient to all the things I want. 
So I waited. 
I kept on asking her. And she kept on answering the same thing she reasoned to me. 
I waited again… 
Until I can’t wait any longer. 
I got so impatient that I wanted to scream what I felt that night. 
My voice was so loud as I said to my cousin, manay bems, “gusto ko na pauli!!!” 
Afterwhile, I found myself watching the show, “Wonderful Life” 
But after that, I became impatient again and went out to the terrace to look at my aunt 
I know that she could see my face so furious and disappointed… 
I looked at her and she looked at me. 
And then… I burst into tears…! 
(I can’t believe I did that!) 
mama ky stood up and gave me a warm embrace. 
But I quite hadn’t feel that way that moment. 
I was so angry at her and papa melvs that I said, “gusto ko na pauli…!!!” 
Followed by a choke and I continued, “I don’t want to go out with you nor papa melvs!” 
I didn’t think about what I was saying… 
All I was thinking at that time was my hatred going all out of me! 
And worse, I cried in front of drunk people. 
They watched me as I sobbed my way to papa melvs. 

He asked me what’s wrong and I answered back my partly reason. 
You know the real reason—— anime. 
But honestly, I got so annoyed to them. 
I mean, not giving me the only thing I wanted at that time. 
I went upstairs and turned on the tv. 
My conscience whispered to my ear… about what I just said a while ago to my aunt. 
I admit it’s no fun watching anime now… 
But still… I tried to enjoy what I was watching. 
I watched the animes that turned out to be the reason why next morning, my aunt won’t budge me…. 
Not a single budge, I tell you.

fyt! fyt! fyt!

Mama ky got mad at me. 
I knew it instantly my eyes looked at hers. 
It looks like she cried that night. 
conscience started to spread to all of my systems. 

When I finished eating my lunch, I went to my room and played KH2 to brush aside what I’m feeling.

nightmAre!!!

Maes, dang and kris all went here to sleep…. every night! 
During those first days, I don’t want them here. 
I always texted my friend, jermaine, about how I hate them being here, sleeping and doing nothing for at least a month! 
So yeah… 
complain here, complain there… 
I do nothing but complain! 
I always waited the afternoon to come because they go home at around 3 or 4. 
But I didn’t realize that every single day of them being here…. is something I should be happy about. 

After a day or two, We grew closer to each other’s prescence. 
Much more aware of each other’s prescence, I mean. 
I know them… again. 
Their personalities and changes.

cuzz…

Maes is what I call “black beauty” 
she’s so beautiful that half of the boys here in Nabua would want to date her! 
haha! 
I’m so proud of her! 
When we were kids, we used to fight one another. 
And I was so happy when I got a lot of her hair than she does on me…! 
But today, just thinking about it, I’d give it a good laugh. 
haha! 
She grew so much like a lady. 
It’s as if she was the opposite of me. 
I mean it literally and figuratively. 
But honestly, I envy her. 
She was like the ‘model’ or ‘doll’ of our family. 
My aunts and uncles… the whole family (and even my mom), likes her. 
My mom wants me to be like maes. 
(she means ‘to-wear-a-lady-kind-of-look) 
But I refuse to. 
I just want to dress the way I want to dress. 
I want to act the way I want to act and feel. 
I don’t want to be some minor freak that wears jewelries and girly-girl outfit to impress the family. 
I said this problem to my elder cuzzs… 
And this is what they replied, “BE YOURSELF” 

Other people doesn’t like maes. 
I heard some rumors that she has a bad attitude. 
They say she is soOo ‘maarte’. 
Some say she’s ‘suplada’. 
(And I was so stupid to believe that!) 
Wanna know why I believed that?? 
Ok, i’ll tell you. 
We’ve grew up… err… in the same house (at least when I was a kid). 
No… I mean we grew up in the same town. 
And I won’t say she has a good attitude (but I won’t say she has the opposite either) 
She did some… things that are really pasted in my mind until now. 
But I think she changed. 
(I still do watch out! hehe…) 
She’s really good! 
She admits her mistakes. 
She’s a fighter! (that’s what I’m talking about!) 
She doesn’t give up on anything! 
She’s a debater, singer, music lover, movie lover…. actress (especially in ‘kontra-bida’ roles) 
You name it and she has it! 
haha! who’s not going to be proud?! 
She has a lot of friends. 
But she’s a picky when it comes to whom she trusts. 
I would laugh so hard because of her jokes! 
And I never thought that she and I would get along together. 
Not so bad, God. 
Yin and Yang. 


Mae’s sis, dang, is one of my fave cuzzs! 
Unlike Maes, she’s a silent-type girl that loves to stay behind (even if everyone else is moving forward) 
As long as she’s with her mom. 
Mama’s girl even though her father likes her a lot than her sis. (no offense Maes) 
Whenever I come near her some days before this particular summer, she would always act like she doesn’t know me. 
I mean, she’s all silent. 
Being one of my fave cuzzs, I don’t give up on her that easily, I would do anything for her to talk to me like she used to. 
And I always fail… 
But this summer, she did. 
She’s a real prankster. 
She doesn’t leave her GBSP behind (except when her mom says so) 
She loves to joke around and make everyone have a good laugh. 
Yaya loves to hang out with her because they get along so much they’re like sisters! 
haha! 
Looking back, she’s like me when I was a kid… 
=D 
I remember when she was a baby 
Maes, with her devlish attitude, would make fun with datchie like she was a doll. 
Their mother said, “Ini man kayang Macy di ah…! Linalanog mo na di ngod mo! baydon mo Lugod ta kolor green na ya!” 
And when I looked at Datchie, I found out that their mother was right. 
She really had a green complexion. 
That’s why I pity her. 
No… I mean take care of her. 
I always stand by her side since then. 
I would protect her from her sister. 
(hehe… hero is my name..) 
Until now, Maes does the same things she did to her sis… 
(wadacruwelsis!) 
And yes… I still stand by her side… 
(xudehman! hehe..) 
But I won’t say that I take a closer

O antok, dalawin mo naman ako.

Pag pumipikit kasi ko, andaming ideyang pumapasok sa utak ko. Minsan di ko na matandaan yung iba pag kinuha ko na yung bolpen at notebook ko. Bale 7:10am na at di karaniwan na gising ako sa mga oras na ganito dahil tulog pa rin ako niyan till 1:30pm.

Eto yung mga naisip ko kanina:

• Pag naipapakita mo ang kahinaan mo sa ibang tao, nagiging totoo ka sa kanila.
• Ano nga ba ang basehan ng pagiging totoong tao? Paano mo masasabing totoo ang isang tao?
• Nakaka-miss ang college. Halos buong college nalampasan ko. Sana sumama at naging active pa ko ng sobra sa Teatro de Santa Luisa at sa pagsayaw.
• Inexplain ko ang sagot sa katanungang “Why is Nursing an Art?”
• Pag nakagawa ako ng tula masasabi ko na bang poet ako? Pag nakagawa ako ng nobela at iba pang mga sulatin, matatawag ko na bang writer ang tulad ko?
• Gusto kong mag-artista.
• Gusto kong gumawa ng sayaw ngayon sa kantang Super Bass ni Nicki Minaj o kaya One Night Stand ni Keri Hilson.
• Nakaka-inspire si Beyonce Knowles. Go Women Power!
• Gusto ko na naman mag-shoot ngayon.
• Gusto ko ng ayusin ang wardrobe ko. I-classify yung mga kailangan ipa-adjust at yung mga pwede ng suotin.
• Nagsusulat ako sa journal ko tungkol kay Affi. Hindi lang naman kasi tumblr ang napagsusulatan ko, tsaka sosyal ang journal ko eh. English. Haha.

Di ako makatulog kaya kumain ako ng almusal: Chicken na may tomato sauce na may pinya, carrots at patatas. Di ako magaling mag-memorize ng pangalan ng pagkain eh. Magaling lang ako kumain. Nyahaha. Ayan sana dalawin na ko ng antok.

pretty much summarizes everything i did last week..

(Source: iwillswimtheoceanforyou)

martir ka rin ba?: Good girl, ang bait mo naman sana kunin ka na ni Lord.

ang-ex-mong-bittersweet:

Alam mo yung time na iniisip mo kung kelan mamamatay ka tapos naisip mong batang-bata ka pa para mamatay. Batang-bata ka pa para mamatay sa sakit, magkaron ng atake sa puso o kaya magka-aneurysm. Tapos pagkabukas habang naglalakad ka sa kalye, bigla na lang sayo may humoldap tapos sinaksak ka ng…

(Source: ang-ex-mong-sagad-sa-kabitteran)

KINSE

http://blogs.abs-cbnnews.com/kinse/

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